My SiMpLe LifE

2010-01-17T17:20:00.002+08:00

It hit me today just how much I love you.

In the past, if there were things that I am unhappy about, I would be unhappy for hours and days and continue to be angry and having a black face attitude for a long time. But somehow or rather, when I get angry at you, it seems that the anger would go off really soon and I would get over it in a while.

Is this how you feel when you love someone that much? When you love that person, it makes you place yourselve in their shoe and understand where they are coming from and thus the anger decrease?

You ask me yesterday if I an disappointed that you had a change of career plan. The truth is, I'm only disappointed that we would need to delay our wedding plan and my dragon baby would not happen afterall. But other than that, I'm really alright with everything else.

Its always in my mind that I would like to settle down young, with the right guy, and have my children young so that there isnt much of a age gap. In the past, it was in my mind that I would get marry at 21, cause the ex and I had that plan. When the ex left, you came into my life and recently we had the talk that perharps we would tie the knot when I'm 23.
But looking at the situation now, I guess my wedding age would drag till when I'm 26 or 27?

This is just a random post of ranting and all to pass my sunday time in the office. But somehow I do have alot going on in my mind but I just cant seem to write everything out here.

2009-11-11T12:09:00.003+08:00

A sudden thoughts came across my mind last night and I was sharing with dear about it while he was doing his road march. Surprisingly, dear was also having the same thoughts as me.

I really wonder what will happen, it's like one should plan for their future, but what's the point of planning when you never know what will happen 5mins from now.

2009-11-09T17:22:00.003+08:00

Its been a while since I last blogged, reason being that I have nothing much to blog about as I was slacking my days away for the last 4 weeks I think.

Oh well, so in short, I have left my previous employer due to many reasons which there is no point talking about them now.

Dear & I had some hippcups some weeks back, it wasn't a big quarrel but it was not a happy incident.

I manage to find a new job and just started the new job today.

Dear & I got over the hippcups and I am trying to resume back to the way we were back then. Close to being back to how we were, but there's still about 5-10% to be exactly like last time.

My cousin who is only 1 year older than me got marry and I'm starting to wonder when will be my turn.

That's pretty much everything right now.

2009-10-24T11:55:00.002+08:00

Many of us have used the word "Love" so easily these days, but how many of us can really love another person unconditionally?

The simplest love of all is for that to a fellow family members and even that at times is selfish.
And so if that to a close kin is already selfish, where will there be one to a total stranger be selfless?

Love is to accept the person no matter who they are, what they do or how they behave. But often enough in a relationship, people are always trying to change each other to fit into their lifestyle. Be it that the changes are good, but what about the other changes just so it makes life comfortable for you? Is that still love?

Love allow one to forgive another no matter what mistake had been made, but can one really forgive and forget and move on with life as though the mistake have never take place before?

There is a saying that I came across before :
" Woman forgive but never forget, Man forget but never forgive"

How true do I find the saying now. Its now that I know what is broken can never be repair to what it originally was before for there is already a crack, so visible that no matter how you cover it, it will still be there. Unknowingly, one would always feel the crack and the pain that it have caused before.

Its only now that I understand the meaning of the words "Love" and I know I'm never going to say this words out so easily for I am unsure if I am able to deliver the promises that comes with the responsibility of saying it.

Things are always so beautiful in the beginning till someone, something, somehow makes a mistake along the way. And from then on, nothing going to be the same again.

2009-10-20T00:37:00.002+08:00

A bitch is just never tire of getting around telling nonsense and messing up peoples' life.

My advise would be for you to just keep out of my life before karma comes haunting you and your ass and before you know it, your happy ending will be gone once more.

2009-10-14T09:17:00.002+08:00

There's ups and downs in life and I guess I have this coming at me.
But deep down inside, why do I feel as though I am being cornered into this situation?
Am I being bullied in this situation without knowing so?

All in all I'm glad that I have got out of that place and I would take a little rest before I start my new chapter in life somewhere else.

Had a wonderful dinner for dear's pre-birthday celebration and picture will be up soon

2009-10-06T21:36:00.004+08:00

Dear is currently situated in a camp that is so far away. In an blink of an eye, dear have been enlisted for coming to 4 months and this means that for the past 4 month I have been a good girl going to work and coming home just to wait for his call.

During this 4 months we have our ups and downs , but all that is over now I just hope that we will be able to get over this and move on with our life.

We also celebrated our 1st anniversary some time back and here are the pictures for our day.

The gift that we got for each other.

And dear was so happy when he saw what was on the buffet line.

This was how happy he was with the food.

he finally took a picture of me when he was done eating his share of seafood.

we were both so full after the dinner, but i didn't eat as much cuz the selection was boring other than the seafood.

the bouquet for him.

and I made him take picture of it cuz its going to be the 1st and last time i give him a bouquet

I hope you enjoy yourself on that day dear and I'm glad we made it through for the past 1 year.

I love you, my baby boy.

2009-09-16T21:51:00.003+08:00

I wish you know what I am thinking and going through at this moment.

You find that I am unreasonable and don't listen to the things that you say, but have you ever wonder how I feel and what is it that makes me so upset?

I just wish that you would do something about this.

But would you do anything about it, or would you just let it be the way it is and ignore everything and live your life?

2009-09-14T15:14:00.003+08:00

So much so have happen and I no longer know what to think or what not to think.

I have tried to ignore it but it keeps making me wonder why you did what you did.

I just need an answer and a truthful promise in order to hold on.

Can I just have that, please?

2009-08-18T19:42:00.001+08:00

I have never love anyone like the way I love you.

Thank you for making me smile so happily yesterday.
Awaiting for the day that comes.

2009-07-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

Its only sunday & theres 5 more days till friday is here. I guess its going to be the longest that dear & I don't contact each other. Even when we were in the midst of a fight, we would still message each other, despite it being a quarrel, we still manage to be communicating.

But now, its going to be 5 1/2 long day that we are unable to communicate with each other. I can bear with not seeing each other for 2 whole weeks, cause we are able to talk on the phone & still hear each other's voice. But it's the 7 day since I last saw my baby boy & its going to be more to go without any communication.

Being the girlfriend of an army solider is really starting to get into me. The pain that many else felt is the pain that I am going through now. Which is why it got me so angry yesterday when he broke his promise. Maybe there are things that matter to me is not understood by him. But what else can I do but to bear with it cause I rather not use the little time we have to fight. So long as things are bearable, I would silently let them stay in me.

Praying hard that the week will fly by so fast cause work is going to be super jam pack. Praying hard that friday's event will not involve me cause I want to fly home after work to be with my baby. Hope that there are many thing that will be able to distract me so that I will not be missing him that much.

2009-07-21T10:56:00.002+08:00

I feel so lost at times that I don't know why do I have all the mixed feeling that is in me.

I try to not think about them but somehow they manage to find their way out into my mind.

It's not like I want to be feeling all that is in me, it's just that they keep surfacing up.

I understand that you have your reason for doing so, to protect me from being over sensitive.
But do you know that your way of protecting me, just make me feel even worse. Cause I am guessing all that my mind can think of.

I truly hope that everything about us can be share all in the open, at least I would know that we have nothing to hide from each other at all.

Another random post for me to vent my inner thoughts.

2009-07-15T22:42:00.002+08:00

I guess I have straighten my thoughts, shall not worry so much cause I guess you have more to worry as compare than me.

That's my conclusion.

2009-07-07T10:12:00.002+08:00

Finally, the wedding weekend is over and all have come to an end.

But now that it is the weekday, dear is back on the island & I'm here alone on mainland.

Cant wait till friday before dear & I can meet again. Pictures would be up soon...

2009-06-30T20:18:00.002+08:00

I've spend the last 48 hours in the arms of dear dear, and I wonder why time pass by so fast when I am with you & pass by so slow at work.

Though this time round we would only be apart for 3 days, 72 hours away, cause friday you would book out already. But I guess this weekend would be rather pack for us, late book out on friday, your brothers' wedding on saturday & rest day for us on sunday.

So I guess it's only next week where we would be able to spend some quality time together & for me to pamper you with good food before you have to book in. But there also activity to attend next week so I wonder if I should skip it.

Plans for the next few weekend:
This weekend : Your brother's wedding (saturday)
Next weekend : Ebon's birthday, our dinner buffet (saturday) & my treat for mum's birthday (sunday)
The weekend after next : Xiuping's birthday

But I am contented with the past 2 days spend with dear. We came home to rest on sunday, after I pick him up from Pasir Ris. Monday was spend watching 2 movie together & it makes me so happy cause it's been a while since we last caught a movie together.
Transformer rocks & Ghost of Girlfriends' Past was touching, in dear's point of view. Mahjong with Ah Hee & Jamie after the movie.
Today we just spend the day going to a few places and headed back home to rest before I drop him off at lavender MRT.

Its time to count down to the weekend once more.

2009-06-20T15:25:00.002+08:00

Am in the office now having nothing to do at all. Suppose to be my off day today, however, came in to standby in the office cause there would be no one around. Thankfully, I would be getting off-in-lieu.

Today is the fifth day that dear is in tekong and I still have 8 more days to go before dear can book out on the 28th night. Am really worry about him being over there, from the way that he tell me about tekong over the phone, it really seems tough over there. But I guess it's just a phrase that every guys have to go through.

All I can do would be to hope that he is taking care of himself over at the island & nothing bad would happen to him.

Going to do a little something for him for his first book out. It may not be anything much, but just a little effort for him. Hope that he would like it.

Receive a miss call from dear earlier while I was with a couple for food-tasting. Wonder what he called for, & he did not call home as well. Really hope that its not anything urgent that he need to tell me, else I would be so worry.

2 more hours to go before I am able to knock off for today & I would be heading home for a good night of sleep. My weekend seem to weird without dear by my side. Wonder what else I can do other than rotting at home.

dear, I'm missing you badly

2009-06-01T23:24:00.002+08:00

Repetition of life, can I break the cycle, please?

If only someone knew what is bothering me
& would make me feel at ease to pour everything out.

But would that ever happen?

I wish to find out.

2009-05-26T20:35:00.001+08:00

I hate working life!!!!

2009-05-18T22:26:00.004+08:00

" Food for thoughts: nobody likes lies, if you wanna lie, dun get caught. "

Came across this and I totally agree with that. Its no doubt that lies are told by everyone in part of their life. There are white lies & dark lies, but there are people who do it with good intention or they simply want to cover themselves from the things that they do.

At the end of the day, lies are told, but just remember to cover your own ass to prevent it from getting burn.

" Food for thoughts: do unto others, what you want others to do unto you. "

This is what I have come up with in conclusion.

2009-05-16T22:10:00.003+08:00

I wish I can turn back times,
but I know I can't.

All I can wish for is to be able to work things out,
and to move forward.

Problems are bound to happen,
but I never expect us to just let it be.

All I hope is to solve each & every single problem,
so that we can be stronger after each obstacle we conquer.

But will that ever happen?
Will we ever be strong,
or will we just break,
like a simple weak twit?

Please tell me that we are strong,
& we can be even stronger,
by working through each & every problems that come our way.

2009-05-11T22:12:00.002+08:00

Never was I being shouted upon that way. Not even my mum do that to me. I get scolded and get beaten, by my mum.
But the way that I was being shouted upon, it scare me at that very moment.
I kept thinking back again & again, am I being too much to have behave that way. But what is wrong with me wanting more time for now before all the time is gone.
If behaving the way means that I am over board, then I truly no longer know what to do anymore.
If just cause of this little thing & we cant overcome it, what is there to do, when more obstacle come our way in the future.
I am not one that ever get shouted upon the way that you did, & it hurts so much that the 1 you love would do that to you.

I see us being together, & to you, you just find that all is pointless.
What am I suppose to do from here?

2009-05-10T22:17:00.001+08:00

all good things have to come to an end.
I guess the same goes for,
me & you.

2009-05-01T21:15:00.000+08:00

Can someone show me the way, please?

I just need to get out of this phrase.

2009-04-27T22:09:00.002+08:00

The next few weeks is going to be a busy day for me.
I just hope that I would have the energy to go on.

I just wish that at times you would put me into your planning.
Its like you never bring me out anymore.
I know that we are financially challenge,
but I just don't see why you are able to spend on other things,
and not even just bring me out and all we need to spend is transport.

Am I asking too much, all it became a habit that we just need to be home-bound.
I just cant remember when was the last time we head out.

Maybe the next few weeks being busy would take my mind off,
or I guess I would just find my own entertainment,
so I would not feel that my whole life just revolve around work.

I no long know what is going on out there anymore,
what are the new fashion, new movie or new entertainment.
I just need a life outside work.

2009-04-16T00:25:00.001+08:00

heavy weight on me,
i feel like I cant breathe at all.
Just a gash of air, please.

2009-04-15T22:38:00.003+08:00

I want to smile like the way I used to, laugh at the silliest joke and just plain smiling cause I am happy.

But yet those just seem to not be on my face anymore.

Can someone bring me those moment and expression back on my face, in my life, please.

tire of the way I am feeling
tire of everything
and yet nothing seem to be freeing me
can there be 1 that bring me out of this misery

2009-04-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

Crazy shit happen yesterday with dear & me. No idea why is it that we can just quarrel out of nowhere.
Laughing and fooling around at one moment and the next we just end up quarrellings all over again out of the blue.
Lack of communication is 1 scary shit that I find we truly need to work on, else I am just worry about how many more argument are we going to walk with each other in hand.

i'm missing you load right now.

I'm missing my boyfriend loads now. Spent the whole day just sleeping and eating.
Got woken up by dear's message in the morning, followed by a little tv-ing and off to bed once more. I only woke up at 3 cause papa wanted to mop the floor, so wash-up and followed by lunch that mummy bought home for me.
After some surfing and off to dreamland I went. And I only woke up at 7 to have dinner so that I can catch the 7pm show on channel 8.
Guess I'm going to head to bed soon after the 10pm show.
Haha, what a pig I am but it's just so nice to finally catch up on my lack of sleep.

Waiting for dear's call, poor him have to work till this late and only get to eat his dinner close to 8pm. Going to pamper him when we meet on sunday.

2009-04-07T21:35:00.002+08:00

Work has been tiring today, so I am home and resting after a late dinner.
Wonder how long I am going to last at this job of mine. Been so many months since we last receive our commission and no one is complaining so who am I to complain.
Dear is at work and I don't get to see him today.
Off to bed now.

I miss drinking at boat quay,
where will that be again?

2009-04-06T22:21:00.002+08:00

Have not been blogging for awhile now cause I have been really tire.

Life have it's up and down and I'm glad that dear and I have got over our down time.
As time passes, we just hope that we are approaching nearer to our plan.

Thought it going to be another few years down the road.
But you are the only one,
that I wishes to hear the words come out from.

So here I am, awaiting patiently as time passes.
Till we build our dream together.

2009-03-21T11:59:00.001+08:00

I love you & I know I still do since the day the word came out of my mouth.
But can someone explain to me, why am I feeling the way I am feeling right now?
If only I can get over this phrase.
Then everything can go back to the way they are.
Or at else I hope so.

2009-03-20T23:10:00.001+08:00

Alls well that ends well

2009-03-12T21:34:00.003+08:00

Been awhile since I last blogged, reason being that work has been tiring.

All I can say now is that working is scary. Everything is changing and all we can do is adapt to the situation, else it's goodbye. So I have been given a warning for not being at work for a couple of days last week so I better be more hardworking for this period of time.

Dearie boy has also been slacking at home lately and poor him for being stuck at home. I understand how boring it is to be at home all the time cause I have been through that before. So I'm praying hard that dear will get a job soon so that his time can be occupy and we can start saving for our trip in may/june.

We also have to save for other things. "Plan" is what I have in mind, no idea if you are thinking about that as well, which I hope you are, so that we will have a common goal. Haha. For now we can only start with our gold coin plan and from there we will process to the bigger plan.
Hopefully in 3 years time it would be enough for us. Or is that too soon for you?
All I can hope for is that we are thinking on the same track cause I don't wish to be the only 1 planning for this.

Maybe this is a too random post and no one understand what I am typing at all. But I only need you to know.

2009-02-22T22:15:00.008+08:00

It's been awhile since I last blog, so this is going to be long one for all the update to be done...
Let's start with the recent event and rewind them from there.

14th February:

Valentine was spend quietly this year with dear. Dear plan the day while I was at work and headed over to meet him then after. Chose to do something at home cause I see no point in heading out when everything is being mark up just cause it's Valentine day.

Darling was sweet to TRY to make me dinner but food was really not that appetizing. Sorry darling that I cant force myself to eat some of the food, or I'll really vomit them out.
But I really appreciate the effort being done that night.

So when my turn come, all I did was to give dear a facial session, which seem like nothing compare to what you have done for me.

Facial Session

here's my darling preparing dinner for me.

the 4 course dinner for our Valentine

I know that dear isn't a wonder chef and so the effort that he have place in really touch me oh so much.

Some picture I took of him when we headed to Ikea for breakfast sometime back.

27th January:

While waiting for darling to be back from work, I slack at his place before we headed over to ah hee's place for CNY gathing.

26th January:

1st day of CNY was the same old this year but I'm glad that darling is there with me.
He did his hair extention which looks really funny to me.

So just a brief update from these time that I have been gone. Dear and I seem to be quarreling so much these days and I really hate it when that happen.
But everything we would resolve it quickly cause I think we just don't want to hurt each other at all. But even if the quarrel only take place for that few minutes, I still hate that feeling that is inside me.

All I hope for is that all this could end and that we would quarrel lesser in the future.

2009-02-09T11:26:00.002+08:00

Work is super boring today with absolutely nothing for me to do at all. So here I am trying to sneak around and blog an entry since I have not done that for a long time.

Yesterday while boyfriend and I were talking about him going to serve the nation soon, I suddenly felt so worried and scare. Worried about what's going to be ahead of us and that we would not be able to go through that together. I mean it's something that every couple goes through and I guess its inevitable for us as well.

Hopefully in time to come, we would be able to get pass that and walk through that phrase together.

V.day is coming and I guess dear and I would not be doing much, else it's going to be a hole in his pocket. With v.day and 2 weeks later being my 21st and 2 days later being our 6th month, poor dearie of mine is going to be so stress up with the list of presents for me.

Talking about that, I have not even thought about what to get for him for v.day. Hopefully ideas would come in soon and I'll be able to get something for him.

2009-01-29T00:32:00.002+08:00

I'm in love with the little precious darling dearie boy of mine.
And I hope you are too.
Await for the day to come, where the little finger gets a ring on it.

No idea that I would feel this way for you.
But now that I do, I would always want to be there for you.
All I hope is that you feel the same way as I do.

2009-01-27T19:39:00.002+08:00

I'm now at boyfriend's place with nothing to do. Waiting for him to be home so that I can hug him and just slack with him. Been some time since we get to do that cause CNY was here and we all had things to do and the usual slack at home cant be done.

At times I feel that I have the silliest boyfriend there can be, being so irriating just to bring the atmosphere up. And just when even I get irriated with him, I just cant find myself being too angry with him. I wonder why is that so?

CNY been slightly quiet this year, the usual hilton gathering doesnt seem to be taking place this year. Which is kind of a disappointment. Just hope that before the 15 day of CNY end, I would get to meet up with them all real soon.

Else I really hope that during my birthday the gang would all be there to celebrate that day with me.

Chalet for my 21st has already been booked, so I would start to message all when the date is drawing nearer. So to those who would read my blog, the chalet is at aloha changi on the 27th feb 2009. So I really hope all of you can be there cause it would mean so much to me that you guys are there. Detail would be send out at a later date when I have everything plan out.

Here wishing everyone a happy lunar new year. Pictures up real soon.

2009-01-14T23:01:00.003+08:00

Today's the 3rd day of cleaning and suddenly I feel that my room is so empty. Can you believe it? My room is so so clean right now.
And it's already the 3rd day and dear had manage to throw away 6 bags of rubbish away. He also manage to get half a bag of stuff home as well. Haha, wonder if he would end up throwing those things away which he took home.
I hope mummy feel different about dear now, cause he is really sweet to help me clean up my whole room.
Suddenly I feel a sense of bliss and I might be rash to do something that is bury deep down in me.

Well, he make me feel so loved by all this little things he do for me. There's still things that need to be done but I told dear that it's alright cause I want him to rest tomorrow before he got to work from friday to sunday. Next week would be for baby to do his room cleaning before it's time for CNY.

I'm so looking forward to CNY. With dear by my side going around to bai nian.

2009-01-12T21:27:00.002+08:00

I so love my baby Yap Zhe Hong!

I'm never a person that enjoy clearing up my own room. Even how messy and dirty my room become, to the extend that there is a layer of dust, I can still live with it. Cause there's just no time that I would spare cleaning up my room. If there is time, I rather spend them on other things.

And seeing how messy and dirty my room is, my dear dear offer to came over and help me clean up my room. Poor dear is now sneezing away cause of all the dust that has been collected is my room over the past year.

I find it really hard to find a guy that is willing to do such thing for their girlfriend. Which is why am so thankful for dear dear.

I guess this can stop mummy from nagging at me anymore cause my room is going to be clean after dear dear finish cleaning up for me.

MUACK TO YOU

2009-01-10T20:08:00.003+08:00

Dear, maybe I don't tell you this enough but you are really someone special to me.
You gave me the care that no one has given me before. You made me feel so special but at times I don't know why I feel wrong when we are together.

I really wonder why is that so.

You are only my second serious relationship so maybe I have nothing to compare to. But I am truly happy that you came into my life. I was once in the low point of my life, but you came and make a difference. Without you, I may still be dwelling on the silly things and still be an unhappy person deep down.

I admit at time, the thought of us being not suited for each other did cross my mind. Maybe it was the downs of our relationship that cause me to feel that way. But whenever I felt that way, I just can't help it but want to be by your side and hug you tight. I wonder why is it that love is such a contracting topic.

Maybe I don't make a perfect girlfriend and that my family is really hostile to you. But thank you for staying by me and I would work hard to let my family accept you. I wish to be with you and to see my life with you walking down the road with me.

Time is still early, and there are many more obstacles that awaits us in the future. And I am praying hard that we would stick by them and not let the small issue in life break us apart.

Baby Yappie, I love you and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Thank you for being there for me whenever I need you.

2009-01-08T22:49:00.002+08:00

Just received all the sad news today. My chalet booking is not available which means my 21st celebration is not taking place anymore.

Test me to only get all my resources to book for me at such a late notice.

This has really dampen my mood for the birthday that I look forward to the most. Maybe some may say that 21st is nothing big, but I was really looking forward to it this year.

Maybe no celebration at all is a good idea for me as well.

Well, if it's mean to be its mean to be else let's just forget it.

2009-01-08T14:56:00.002+08:00

On a random note,

I WANNA GET INKED!!!!

With the first ever tatoo convention going on at expo, it made me feel so tempted to head down to look for design by the foreign artistic to get them ink on me.
But the weekend seem so pack and I'm so lazy to head down all the way to expo.

Would someone be nice enough and send me down to accompany me for the show please.

2009-01-03T00:07:00.002+08:00

I just wish that all these would go away soon.
Else I'm not going to be myself for quite some time.

2008-12-30T11:38:00.002+08:00

I don't understand why is it that at times when I just needed to hear something from you to hold me on, you never fail to not say them out.

You would simply take it that I'm at my nonsense once more and just say things that really hurt me.

I just wish at times you would just say things that would melt my heart.

Don't all girl wishes for that as well.

2008-12-25T11:14:00.002+08:00

Somehow or rather, this year's christmas doesn't seem very christmasty. Had to work on the eve of christmas, as I always do, went around with lionel to send e-sets and was on road almost the whole day. After that headed back home with dear and rest awhile before the rest came over for dinner at the market and mahjong at home, midnight came and the exchanging took place. Everyone took awhile to unwrap their present and continue with the game.

With the description of the above, does it sound any thing like christmas to you? Maybe as one grow older and start to work, everything just start to lose the meaning of what it really meant. This was what lionel told me when I told him that this year's christmas doesn't feel like one at all. Well, I back in the office on a public holiday blogging away. Really starting to feel moody right now cause I am upset that christmas is going to just passby like this. It used to be one of my favourite holiday and it still is now. So why does it just passby so simply?

Afterall, christmas have not ended, maybe I can still do things to make it a more meaningful christmas.

Random post out here.

2008-12-16T23:22:00.002+08:00

I need a new look. Snap off my roots or something,
whatever it is I need the change.
After 28th Dec, the change will happen.

2008-12-15T21:51:00.002+08:00

I feel that I'm loving dear more and more. Or I'm simply getting more and more clingy to him. Which is something that I don't like myself doing.
I admit in the past relationship of mine I would get upset whenever he don't accompany me cause we only have so little time together.

But I'm spending so much time with dear dear these days so why does it never seem enough for me to be with him. Maybe the time spend with dear dear is sweet and all which is why it always seem to pass by so fast. But I promise dear that in the future I would not ask him to give up work for my sake anymore as there are things which are more important than dating.

Despite her return, I believe it will occur more in the weekdays. But I'll learn to trust dear rather than keep having doubt in my mind. I know trust takes time to build up, but I'll try to achieve that. Cause I guess if a person were to lie, no matter how much they try to hide, the truth would just surface one day.

Loads of nonsense written in this entries I believe if you don't understand I won't blame you either. Just somewhere I wanted to write my thoughts out.

2008-12-09T00:08:00.002+08:00

I'm so tire of people telling lies and all. We had so much peace while you were away and you even found yourself a new boyfriend, so why bother to come back and disrupt us.

Is life so boring that you have nothing to do but disrupt people's life become a hobby to you?
Why bother telling lies when you know the truth would always come out?
Why do you never learn your lesson and just learn to tell the truth?

At the end of the day, if you never learn you would just be the one being hurt along the way. I have absolutely no idea what is it that you are up to but I'll learn to trust dear and not let you affect us.

2008-12-03T00:05:00.003+08:00

In a blink of an eye and I have already started work for 1 month.
I admit I am really tire after working for this month cause there seem to be so little time for me to rest. And there were also argument between me and dear dear, I guess this is why it add on to my body stressing out.

No doubt dear and I have been arguing loads lately but I just cant live without him. Every time after each argument I just cant bring myself to be angry for long. I just wish that it would stop so that dear and I would get back to normal.
I hope that things would improve between me and dear cause I really wishes to be with him for long.

Christmas is coming, there's so many things that I wish for. But money seem to be so tight lately. I'm going to work hard for now to clear all my debt so that dear and I can start saving for our trips next year.

dear, please forgive me for making you angry all the time.

2008-11-23T02:14:00.002+08:00

Life is truly fragile.
Somewhere this time last week, I still saw life at my front.
Sadly the news came out as a shock to all.

Its high time I learn to grow up.
And learn to cherish those around me.

2008-11-21T00:32:00.004+08:00

No idea what I have done to make you feel that way.
But it really hurts me when you said that.

I don't know if you know how I felt at all.
But I guess if you do, you would not say those things out at all.

2008-11-17T14:37:00.003+08:00

So much is going through my mind. I know you are unhappy whenever I have doubt, but who can blame me when I feel that way.
Blame it on me knowing so much about you 2 when your were together. And blame it on those around me who know everything that you guys went through.
If it was me, would you actually hold on to me so tightly, as you did for her?
At times I really just want to run away and think things properly, at the same time I would know how much I mean to you. But sadly I always give in and just cant stop myself from being away from you.

All I need is reassurance. Can you please give that to me?

2008-11-11T22:54:00.002+08:00

I know love can't be compare.

But somehow or rather,
I feel that you love/d her more than you love me.

No idea why I feel this way,
but I do need this feeling to go away as soon as possible.

2008-11-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

Today's my second day at work but to be exact it was more like my first day where I did the orientation and learn some stuff here and there.

I guess it would be pretty boring for the first week as I would not have much things to do so I guess I better make use of the time to read up on the menu and all and be familiar with the T&Cs.

Thought that I would be greeted with first day work surprises but sadly there wasn't any. Well, lets not hope, so that we would not be disappointed, isn't it?

2008-10-31T01:15:00.002+08:00

Sick and tired of argument over argument. No idea what have happened earlier and the whole attitude just came right at me. Straight in my face as a matter of fact.
Can someone please explain to me what happened earlier, cause I am still in shock.
All I know is that patient has it's limit.
I am really tired of going through this every few other days.
Can we just get this over and done with and not ever be like this again?

2008-10-29T14:43:00.004+08:00

Its been awhile since dear's birthday and only now then do I have time to post up some pictures.
Took him out for dinner at Coca restaurant on sat cause that's the only time we are free for ourselves. But pictures are only taken when we are on our way down to town.

Wanted to surprise him with a small birthday cake but that seems so hard to be done when he's always following me around all the time. But still did manage to escape and get a candle at the end.

Many other pictures were taken but not going to post them up. Last but not least, happy birthday to my dearest dear dear.

2008-10-28T16:18:00.003+08:00

The weekend seem to be rather upsetting.
Unsure of what the problem is anymore, but there is something bothering me.
All I know is that the weekend is not the usual weekend that I always misses.
Can I just get over the phrase and move on?
Can we go back to how we use to be?

2008-10-22T21:49:00.002+08:00

I'm tire!!!
Wish that there are things that can perk me up.
But is there any?

2008-10-16T20:27:00.002+08:00

I have so much to pen down, but somehow I don't know where to begin.
Stupid feeling is coming back.
Someone please make them go away please.
Maybe slacking at home isn't such a good idea after all.

2008-10-13T03:06:00.002+08:00

David Cook's "Always Be My Baby"

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back,
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
You'll always be my baby

I can say that I don't want to be back with him anymore as the damage is done and I can never feel for him like how I used to. But hearing this song brings back the feeling of how strongly I can love him in the past.

Love strong enough to make me wait for his return.
Love strong enough to make me see a future in us.
Love strong enough to make me do all those things for him.
Love strong enough to hurt me so and yet still believe in it again.

From him, I understood the meaning of love and all.

But that was all in the past. I know I don't love him anymore.

ITS LOVE THAT I MISSES.

I wish I never knew what love was so that I would not miss it. But yet, maybe its all too new for me and who am I to say that I truly love him.
Ironical things that I'm typing isn't it?

I've moved on from him and I'm happy now being with dear. But I can't say that I love dear at the moment cause I dare not love easily again. Maybe my wall are still up and guarding me from being hurt which is why I dare not love another person simply.

Dear
I hope you are not affected by my post
cause I no longer feel for him anymore.
I'm sorry that I have yet to love you
but this is just the way things are for now
Give me the time to learn what love is once more
and love will come at the right time
Please do not read too much into this post
cause I just need to say this out
You are the one I feel for right now
that is something I know

2008-10-06T09:56:00.002+08:00

My throats hurts so terribly due to my wisdom tooth swelling up and its hurting me like hell right now.
This explain why I'm not heading to work but just resting at home. Going to drink up plenty of water and ask mummy to make some herbal tea for me so that hopefully the swelling can go down and that I can start eating food to the fullest and not stopping myself cause it hurts my throat whenever I swallow something.
Even drinking water hurts at time so you can see how bad my situation is right now, don't you.
But luckily I have someone who cares for me and ensuring that I would drink plenty of water so that I would get better.

Its true that I used to think that he was my everything in the past.
But that was in the past and despite my love for him, he still hurts me and made me cried so hard.
All because of him, it became hard for me to trust others and I build wall around myself so that I would not get hurt ever again.
Because I see that no matter how much you love a person sometime it just isn't worth it as they would just hurt you at the end of the day.

But that was until you came into my life.
Its true that we were both just flirting in the beginning so that we both can get distracted from the problems that we both faced individually.
But little did we know that the flirting became serious and feeling grows.
We were just dating initially and I had my fear for not being with you.
And my fear did came true in the start of our relationship.
But all is over and we have walk pass that period of our relationship.

To dear:
Thanks for taking care of me whenever I'm with you.
Thanks for giving me everything within your limit.
Thanks for doting on me and sending me to work whenever you can.
Thanks for being there for me and ensuring that my fears are all nothing.
There so much more to thank you for but I just cant name them all.

I know I had my fear and even thought of letting go once.
But we made the promise to each other and I really hope we stay to it.
I know sometime promises can be broken easily but I really hope I can trust you.
For now, all I know is that you mean a lot to me.
So hopefully, we would both make the effort to keep to our words.
That all I hope for.

2008-10-02T23:16:00.001+08:00

I think my fear has began

2008-10-02T21:42:00.002+08:00

No idea why, but I'm in a really foul mood today.
Don't feel like doing anything at all or what so ever.
No idea what's the course, just feel this way suddenly.
Please let this feeling go away please.
Cause it's really causing me to be unhappy.

2008-10-02T12:09:00.005+08:00

1October2008, was our 1st month. Though it was just a simple day out, but I really did enjoy myself and appreciate everything that you have done to try to make it meaningful for us.

It made me cherish the day even more due to the things that we had went through during the early stage of our relationship. But all is over and I'm just glad for all that we have now.

Lunch at Suki Yaki. The buffet really made us so so full.

Took the bus home to rest before we head back to town for our movie.

Love this picture so so much cause its was not intentional but the picture really did come out with a wonderful effect.

I'm unsure of where we would be heading to in the future. But for now, I know you are one who can make me smile and I'm grateful for that.
The feeling of just smiling to myself whenever I think of you, laughing at your silliest joke, kissing you just cause I felt like doing so.
I really enjoy all this feeling and I thank you dear, for giving all this to me.
I hope I make you smile and brighten up your day as well cause you are really starting to matter more to me.
Let's just hope things would go well for us and we would be there for each other as time passes us.

2008-09-30T23:17:00.011+08:00

This is going to be a super long post due to the lack of update for a long time. Had a wonderful weekend over at the F1 site, problems arises and afterall it was a blessing in disguise that allow me to meet so many wonderful people after the change of room took place.

Pictures are all up but in random order.

The after race picture that was taken when people start to leave the course.

Turn 3 was where I was situated over the 3 day race.
Manage to catch really good glimpse of the race along the way.

I also took picture with the fellow suite ambassador who are so nice to me despite me being the only 1 who had never flown before. They were really friendly and really made me feel comfortable, unlike some others.

Kimberly and Michelle.

Michelle, my suite manager who is there looking after me.

The F1 teddy bear that cost freaking $80, I cant afford it but just manage to take pictures of it.

Not forgetting that I had a really fantastic crew helping me out for the 3 days and made things so much easier for me. They were really so nice and all that made me appreciate them so much. I thought I would be bullied by them and taken for granted but I was so wrong about it. They would always take my tray away from me the moment I held 1 in my hand and always be there to help me when I needed them to.
I would never forget my crew from Sheraton Tower, once again I thank you guys for all the help.

My lovely crew

Farid, my IC, still pretty new and stress about being an IC but I can see his potential and he will definitely go far.

Rooms setting was really good and nice. But I'm glad I got transfer out of the room which I was initially placed in and got transfer over to Turn 3.
Turn 3 really rocks.

Some picture that are long over due.
20th September:
Headed down to DBLo for Jereme bday, after my meet up with Joanne in town. Left shortly after that cause things was pretty boring but dear was nice to accompany me down despite him not enjoying the clubbing scene at all.

Nice bumping into clarence, its been so long since we last saw each other.

Thanks for accompanying me.
Thanks for taking care of me through my hectic weekend.
Thanks for looking after me when I'm sick.
Thanks for cooking for me when I'm hungry.
Thanks for all that you have done.

Cant wait for tomorrow to be here sooner.
Awaiting for everything that is plan for tomorrow.
Even if something simple would be wonderful,
cause I get to spend it with you.

2008-09-19T11:10:00.002+08:00

I miss you so so much do you know that?Everyday you are starting to become more and more important to me and I just thought you should know how much you mean to me and that I'm starting to fall deeper and deeper for you.

Despite my fear and everything, I just cant stop myself from missing you and thinking about you. Maybe its silly of me cause I would end up hurting myself once more. But its the risk I'm taking to let myself experience this sweet little things once more.

2008-09-18T00:00:00.002+08:00

At the end of the day, I still have fear deep down inside of me.
Wonder if I would end up walking down the road alone again once more.
I guess I might be on my guard once more.

2008-09-15T19:31:00.003+08:00

Maybe the roller-coaster ride have come to a stop but I'm still worry about being place on the ride once more.
I may be one that like thrill and all but being on a roller-coaster isn't really that fun when you are on the down side.
Despite all that I have gone through, I still have fears in me of what would happen in the future. Maybe is due to the things that I have went through in life, I just find that bad things often happen to me.
I hope that as time goes by, the faith would be restore and that I can learn to trust once more.

All I really want is to be happy and to trust another person totally. But can that be done and achieve? I still have mine doubt in life and I truly wishes that all these negative feeling would be gone soon.

2008-09-11T11:43:00.004+08:00

Things really have not been good for me lately. I have no idea how to handle them.

To let go, in order to feel better.
Or to hold on, as I cant bear to let go at all.

Somehow, I feel that I have it coming all along. I have guarded myself so strongly in order not to be in this situation ever again, but in the end, I let my guard down once more and end up doing this to myself.

I never knew I feel this way for you at all and I thought I could let go easily when I have to do so. But when the reality hit me in the face, I suddenly knew how much I feel for you now and that I really don't want to lose you at all. But why is it that I have no confident at all that I would be the one for you? Am I not doing enough to let you make your decision easily?

Just how can I get over this and smile again? Is it that difficult to ask to smile happily?

If you are reading this, I've never blame you at all for all that is happening.
Cause I always believe that it's one who should be responsible for one's own action.
I choose to step into this picture myself and from the start I guess I sort of expected one of the outcome would be this.
But would the ultimate outcome be the one that I wish for?
Or one that I am preparing myself for?
No matter what that is to come, I think I am prepared for the worst.
If I am prepared for the worse, I guess there's nothing that can make me feel worst than that right?

I better not be thinking about this anymore as I don't wish to be trouble. At least there's something good for me to look forward to: gathering with the hilton gang tomorrow night. Indeed it would be something to keep my mind off things.

2008-09-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

How true it is that it's always calm just before the storm.

2008-09-03T01:25:00.004+08:00

I'm actually a little worry about things. I mean I am really happy now but at times I would just pause for a moment and waiting for things to happen cause I don't believe that good things will last forever. When there's the good time, the bad time is bound to be around the corner, right? So I guess I'm just preparing myself for the worst and that isn't such a bad thing right?

But I guess one day you would get sick of me and all my talking about all this negative thing but I just cant help it. At the same time, I understand your fear as well just from the way you talk at times.

Maybe things will be a little shaky initially, but I really hope we can work things out. If we really mean it, I guess we can overcome things as they passes us.

2008-09-01T13:20:00.002+08:00

1st September 2008, a special day indeed for me.

2008-08-28T22:13:00.003+08:00

I wish for everything to be trash out.
Cause it seems that there's something,
that I cant get out of my mind.
And it's causing me difficulty to breathe.

If only I have the courage to do so?
Everything would be so much simpler,
wouldn't it?

2008-08-28T01:00:00.004+08:00

I'm scare and I really am.
The feeling of being scare seem so familiar, in the way that I'm afraid of.
I really don't want to feel this way but I cant help it.
Maybe I shouldn't have taken the first step at all and land myself in this situation,
but it has happened and I am now faced with the problem.
I don't blame you because you have done nothing wrong.
And you should take all the time that you need, cause you deserve the time to heal.
You really do.
But I just hope that when you do, you still feel the same.
I wish I can take things easier.
I really wish.

The way you held me in your arms, makes me feel so bliss.
But at the same time, it makes me feel sad deep down.
Why the complication?
If only things were much easier for us,
I think we can be happy.

2008-08-26T00:45:00.003+08:00

Somehow or rather, I'm feeling scared.
Scare of the feeling that I felt.
Yet ironically, this feeling makes me smile as well.
I'm unsure of what lies ahead of me,
but just one push, I'll fall over the edge.
And I think I'll fall head over heels with you.

Would you give me that push over the edge?
And make me smile just like the way I used to?

2008-08-23T15:26:00.002+08:00

Finally, my exam is all over and I can finally take a break from all the exam craze and have a breather over the weekend before I start keeping myself busy at work and earn the money that I see myself needing to spend over this holiday.
Just received the confirmation email regarding the F1 suite ambassador post and I'm sort of excited and nervous about this job. It would definitely be fun being able to enjoy watching the race for free and getting paid for working as well. I guess it would be better if I were to be working with Kriston or others due to the company. But the pay the Singapore GP is offering is far to tempting and I guess it would be good for me as well to get the opportunity to work with Spore GP.
Time for me to relax and enjoy till after F1 in sept and it would be time for me to start seeking for a full-time job soon. Excited and yet worry about getting a job and starting my working life out there but there's still another month or so for me to enjoy so I think I better make full use of it and at the meantime, it would do myself some good to open myself up to the different opportunity that lay ahead of me.

List for the coming week:
-Work on Mon (hopefully)
-Accompany mum and dad for dinner on Tue

-Hock Tong Bee interview on Wed.

-Work on Thur

-F1 trainning on Fri

-Sentosa on Sat

-Rest day on Sun

I had fun yesterday and I really enjoyed myself.

Think I finally manage to understand something,

and I guess I should just be glad about it.

Thanks so much for all that you have done for me,

you don't know how happy I am at times when I'm with you.

You're starting to matter more to me now as time passes,

hopefully this is the start of something good.

2008-08-22T01:30:00.004+08:00

Last paper is less than 7.5 hour away and freedom is simply just 9-10 hours away from me and I simply cant wait to get the paper done and over with. Of course on a side note, I am worried about my paper tomorrow and it just occur to me that if I fail tomorrow's paper, it's going to be over for me in my polytechnic life. But I don't think I will fare that badly cause I do get the concept about CMA, its simply memorizing the steps and placing them in the right order to work out the question.

Slept for awhile earlier on as nothing seems to be able to be squeeze into my mind anymore. So I nap and I think I would still be asleep if the call did not came through. A surprise call came and I guess someone would laugh about it if she knew who called me. But I was still drowsy when I answered and I vaguely remembered what I said at all.

But since I am awake, I decided to get back to studying a little bit more cause I feel really good now and I think this is when my mind could memories the most. So people, do wish me all the best for my last paper tomorrow.

I find myself thinking of you all the time,
and there's the little bit inside of me knowing that I am falling.
Yet there's always the fear of being committed.
Maybe you were right about me being hurt b4 thus the feeling now.

I think I am wrong to be making you feel this way about me,
cause I feel like I'm leading you on and yet not able to give you the answer that you seek.
And it doesn't make me feel any better knowing that she is still hoping for your return.
I feel that she is remorse and is truly willing to change.
Am I in the way of you 2 getting back together?
Am I affecting the love that is meant to be?

Many a times I wonder whether without my presence you guys can work things out.
But selfishly, I don't wish to lose you as well.
I guess I am already used to having you in my life and I just don't want to give you up.

Hopefully time will allow me to have the courage to love all over again.

2008-08-21T11:56:00.001+08:00

Finally, in less than 24 hours and I can finally take a break from all the stupid exam craze and take a break at last. Somehow I did not mug as much this time round but am just tire somehow or rather.
Guess the only paper that I worry about would be my last paper tomorrow but I believe with practice of the various question, I should be able to pass without any problem.
Cant wait for the programme tmr night.
Am just so looking forward to having fun.

2008-08-19T23:51:00.002+08:00

Some things came across my mind today. I really don't wish to hurt anyone and I worry that I might just do that to you. Especially now when I'm unsure of what I want or what I should do. For now, it would be good to just let things remain the way as they are.

The situation just got more complicated when more people are aware of it. I really don't wish for it to turn out this way. Rather, I think it would have work out better if no one knew about it. With the complication of others being involve, I really think I should be more careful with my words and action.

But somehow I guess that just isn't possible anymore, is it?

2008-08-18T20:41:00.001+08:00

No idea what am I doing and I think I'm falling.
Someone please enlighten me and show me the way.

2008-08-15T02:22:00.002+08:00

It's scary shit what the world is like out there

I miss the little things that simply makes me smile in the past.
And when it was so much easier back then.

2008-08-13T21:30:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile since I have last blogged. Things has been happening and I'm unsure of what I am doing. Maybe I am wrong to be doing whatever it is that I am doing out there, but it takes 2 hand to clap.
I unsure of what is out there and there's always the saying of "you never try, you never know". Maybe what I need now is to pluck up my courage and try what is out there waiting for me. But I should be careful and not just try everything that is out there isn't it?
Maybe at times I may be tempted by the little things that touches me but at times all things that are sweet and all is only in the beginning and it is usually short. Perhaps that is why I don't wish to hurt myself anymore and simply enjoy the initial stage of everything sweet.
What fear me is to take a step closer and all the argument start coming in due to the friction that 2 person create when they are together. And with the start of the argument, the sweetness starts to fade and all starts to wonder why did I decide to do this to hurt myself.
Maybe it is the fear that stops me from being committing myself to you.
I'm sorry that I have lead you on but I'm unsure of what it is that I want, please give me sometime and think through what is it that I want and when I am ready I should be able to give you an answer.

2008-07-30T15:01:00.002+08:00

I'm stuck in school now cause class was canceled and project meeting only lasted so long. Working at 5 later and my tummy is complaining for hunger right now. So here I am blogging and finding things to do before I head over to work.

Came to notice of something and I just right now my lifestyle has really change a lot. Was it due to what has happened that cause the change in my view of life and the lifestyle that I am living now? Or it's just the change in me took place and the reason not being you.

What I seek for now is no longer a relationship that I once hold on so tightly upon but I just want to have fun and meet different people to open up my social circle. Maybe some will disapprove of the way I live my life now, but I'm still young and I think I really should do things that I want otherwise I would simply end up living my life in regrets that it was such a plain old life of mine.

All in all, there are just tonnes of things that I wish to experience and I really hope that those that I wishes for would come true.

2008-07-29T21:33:00.004+08:00

There is always temptation in life and fun and upset that comes with it.

And there is always something that I would like to experience but yet I never came across it, but I guess if given the chance I would really like to go through this, and I believe it would be really fun and now would be the ideal age for me to have something like this as an experience and somehow or rather, there is an opportunity now.

Guess I am just blabbering about something that is going on my mind and I thought of. And now I am regretting telling someone about the incident cause I feel it would slip out somehow or rather to others out there. But I really don't mean anything bad, I promise.

Don't think anyone would understand what I am talking about at all cause its all so confusing.

2008-07-22T20:46:00.004+08:00

Ping's birthday celebration on saturday. A second one in a row for 2 saturday of birthday celebration. Tonnes of picture to load so, enjoy.

The group at Graz

I love them so much!!!

More pictures to come after I get the rest from the group.

2008-07-22T00:56:00.001+08:00

I guess the fun is over and I cant bring myself to hurt you.

2008-07-19T01:33:00.002+08:00

Work pretty much on wednesday and thursday. Was so tired cause of the late night and I still have a early morning tomorrow.

Really should rest early otherwise I would definitely be super tire cause its going to be a long night tomorrow.

Pretty much has happen over the past few days and I'm enjoying every moment of the little surprises that comes along the way. Hopefully the sweet surprises would keep me smiling so that I can be a cheerful girl.

2008-07-15T17:49:00.002+08:00

Saturday:

Continue from the previous post. All of us gather at fly on saturday to celebrate the 2 sisters bday. Order cake from hilton to surprise ebon cause she was craving for the cake. Hope the 2 birthday girl had fun that night.

Sister whose birthday are just 1 day apart.

Hilton ladies

Cousin who grew up together.

I love her so much.

Suppose to have more picture but sadly some were lost. Hopefully this saturday at ping's bday we can take more to replace them bah.

A pleasant surprise last night make me smile

2008-07-13T15:32:00.006+08:00

Its going to be tonnes of pictures over the next few post cause it's a major event over the weekend.

Friday:
Ebon headed over to BoatQuay with her friends to celebrate her bday and meimei n I decided to surprise her at 12mn with her bday cake. She was so shock when she saw us and I can see that she was really happy.

Birthday Girl

I love them

We took tonnes of picture that night. And headed home not too late cause there was work next day but most importantly is cause we wanted to get enough rest so that we can party to the fullest the next day. That is where the real party will be. More update to come.......

2008-07-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

Have not been updating much these days cause there isn't anything interesting to blog about. But when it comes to the weekend, there's plenty of fun for us ladies. Cant wait for the weekend once more for more partying

2008-07-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

WAKE ME UP AND SLAP ME HARD!!!

I have no idea what am I doing at all and I'm starting to dislike myself. Why am I behaving this way and thinking the way I do. I need to wake up and stop letting myself sink any deeper into this. But who can understand how I feel. Many may say that I am stupid for this and I myself find it stupid as well.

If I know what to do, I should be firm and stick to it. Please let me have the determination to be strong and wake up from all this wishful thinking of mine.

2008-07-01T06:31:00.000+08:00

It's sunday once more and kor had his off day, so it's another family day for us. Bro woke me up at and we all started preparing to head out for our usual dimsum and followed by desert and shopping.

I guess everyone of us came home with a little something and its all thanks to Mr Adrian Ting. Thanks for making the effort to bring us out and to pamper us all. And I can see that mummy and papa are really happy.

Mrs Ting and Ms Ting

Mr and Ms Ting

My parents

Its been such a long time since I last took picture with my parents and I guess there will be more to come.

2008-06-29T18:31:00.000+08:00

No idea why is it that I am feeling this way and it's really hurting me so much. Know that it wouldn't be good for me and yet I misses it so much. Is this what you call being stupid and blind? Frankly speaking, in my heart I know I would start all over if one would to change. But yet am I just plain hoping that one day, that will happen? But would it happen at all? No one has an answer and somehow I know this time it there isn't going to be a u-turn for me to walk through this again. But why is it that I can't do anything about the way I am feeling despite knowing what is the right thing I should do?

I know the situation
I know the answer
I know the road that I should take
BUT
I can't let go
I can't forget
I can't stop hoping
I can't not love

2008-06-24T06:41:00.000+08:00

I love this girls all so much.

Let bygones be bygones.
Let the past be gone and forgotten

2008-06-13T16:32:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired from work and yet I cant stop thinking about it.

2008-06-09T14:10:00.000+08:00

I miss you so, and I hate myself for being so.

2008-06-06T13:33:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile since I last blogged. Maybe its due to the down of my life that I do not know what to blog about or its just that there isn't anything interesting for me to note down about.

But now that time have passes and that I'm learning to get over it, I'm learning to handle things as they come along and that I'm not going to let this little things around me to get me down like how they used to. I'm going to be brave and face the world and be strong to lead the life that I want.

There's friends around me to pick me up when times are down and I'm so thankful for them. No worries people, Tiffany is back and I'm not going to let this little thing pull me down once more. Just make sure you all are adding the colour into my life so that I'm able to blog more about the very colourful life that I'll be leading from now on.

Ps. To the one out there, I hope you know what you are doing.
Things have to end this way and I believe god have his reason for doing so
I wish you all the best in your life as I'm not going to be there for you anymore
as they said, one only learn after they have fallen themselves
so I should no longer spoon feed you but let you learn to handle things in your own manner
only through this, would you learn and appreciate the things around you
Last but not least,I wish you all the best
my love for you was real all along.

2008-05-10T06:44:00.000+08:00

It scary shit that friends who once used to be hi bye friend develops to friends who talk shit, to friends who listen to each other problems and be there for each other when they are in their down pit of life. And now, it change to friend who simple ignore each other and not even reply on msn.

What exactly causes these changes? A new partner in life cause one to move away from their friend? I think that's just crazy shit man. I used to be that way and doesn't allow my bf to meet with certain of his friend but after experiencing it myself, I got totally freaked out and promise myself that I will never behave that way ever again.

Well, to that dearest friend out there, I hope that there will be a day where we can talk once more. Cause I feel that I seriously do miss you as a friend. Hopefully if you are reading this, I hope that you are doing well and life is going good for you. Do contact me and we can talk again.

2008-05-10T06:11:00.000+08:00

I made another attempt to order my PG mall bag in another spree. Hopefully nothing can go wrong this time round and that the bags will arrive safely in 2 months time.

There's been some hiccup in life lately and I really have no idea how to face them and handle these problems. But I'm glad I have friends who are around that will take my mind of things. And also there's kaydence and kayenne to keep to me occupied so that I would not need to think of these problems. Kids just really brighten up my days and make me smile all the time when I'm facing them.

All in all, I'm looking forward to receiving my Body Central maxi dress and I'm praying really hard that my PG mall bags will get to arrive in singapore safely this time round.

2008-05-07T14:24:00.000+08:00

Everythings down the drain

2008-05-07T05:09:00.000+08:00

It is so frustrating!!!!!I was so looking forward to receiving my PG mall bag next week only to receive the news today that the company lost the order and our bag are not coming at all. Like what the hell can!!! How can they be so irresponsible and to let this happen. I seriously hope that this does not happen for my body central spree as well man cause I really love the maxi dress very much and would love to wear it to my cousin dawn's wedding.

Hope that the worst news that I can ever receive this month.